I'm a high school senior. ^^
I took a mock test in April today..^^
My grades are not good, but I'm glad they went up more than the mock test in March.
It's been more than two years since I went to school wearing a wig in the morning..Since I was a freshman in high school..
It was very awkward at first, but..I'm used to it now..^^;;
But still...It doesn't feel like people are living...
For me, the time before the storm was when I was in my first year of high school... JAURIM's falling flower..It was a time that touched my heart..^^;;
Even after my first year of high school... I get along well with my friends at school... But when I wear a wig, I always have a certain line. I know...
It's not a good thing for me to get to know each other without maintaining a certain level of relationship... to have a lot of physical touch... to wear wigs..
It's dangerous... I don't think we should get closer..That's enough for me to say...
Pews floating in the air...
It's not easy to hear a lot of so-called best friends..
Well... I've told my best friend in high school that I was wearing a wig for the first time......... (Feels good to be my best friend for life..^^)
There's still a bitterness in my heart..........A little lethargy?....Guidelines?
I went to school on the bus this morning... ...and listened to a song like a calm piano song.........I listened to Japanese singer YUI's calm songs...
(Good-bye-days song is good. Listen to it..^^ OST of the movie "Song of the Sun")
Oldboy OST... I also like songs with this vibe...
While listening to this kind of song.........The cars passing by the window
Looking at the people who are busily moving...........In that crowd... ...there's a lot of people...
What do you think I am? .........That's what I thought........
Well... the confusion of self-identity that often happens during puberty my age...
Do you think it's me?...............
Taking a test at school........(I happened to sit in the back row in the middle..)
Let's take a look around the kids.........
I'm just one of a bunch of students... and I think...
I don't even think about it for a mock test...... I got into a bit of a fight with another classmate... (What's the content? I went home with another classmate, but today my classmate asked me to go, so I can't go...)...As a result, I've got a scuffle..It's just an ordinary quarrel..^^;;;)
I was told by my friend that I was sick and tired. (○○○! You're annoying!)! I've never heard of something like this before in my life...I'm a little flustered and shocked..;; I'm a pacifist, so I've fought with only 4 friends so far, and this friend is the 4th..'m')
Today, when I came home and threw up my anger alone... hahaha;;
When I come home, I have some dolls and toys in my room..
Looking at this... am I lonely?? Is that why you like dolls like this?
That's what I feel again.........I have a friend..Even if you have a family..
I guess I can't be separated from the 'lone' guy who suddenly casts like my shadow... 'lone'.........Are you my new friend?
That's what I'm thinking, and I'm laughing.
It feels like the back of my mind is empty... It feels like I can't fill it up even if I fill it up.............What should I put in to fill it up? Is it love...
It's natural that everyone wants to be loved, not just me, right?
I'm loved by my mom..I have family...I have friends...
Still, I'm upset that something hasn't been filled up..
I want to grow up more and live a social life...
I hope you find something like this that I don't know right now....
I've only told one friend yet, but...I hope I also have the courage to tell more friends in the future.. ^^
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